The Glad Game

"You're so Pollyanna, Peggy," a colleague exclaimed at a meeting a few months ago. Apparently she didn't agree with my optimistic solution to a problem.

I sat back in my chair and smiled. On the surface it appeared that I took this comment lightly, as I'm sure it was intended, but on the inside I wondered what being, "so Pollyanna" meant. The way it was stated sounded a bit insulting, so when I got home I looked up Pollyanna on Wikipedia. Here's what the mastermind of the World Wide Web said,   

"Pollyanna is a best-selling novel by Eleanor H. Porter (1913) with the title character's name becoming a popular term for someone with the same optimistic outlook. Eleven more Pollyanna sequels, known as "Glad Books" were later published. Pollyanna has been adapted for film several times."

What's it about?

A young orphan girl, Pollyanna, goes to live in Vermont with her wealthy, but stern aunt. Pollyanna's philosophy of life centers on what she calls, "The Glad Game," an optimistic attitude she learned from her father. The objective is to find something to be glad about in every situation. With this philosophy, and her own sunny personality, Pollyanna brings so much gladness to her aunt's dispirited New England town that she transforms it into a pleasant place to live. 

I felt better after reading about Pollyanna. I hadn't been insulted at that meeting, I had been complimented. After all, don't lots of people spend money on self help products and many hours in therapy trying to be "Pollyanna."

And does it work? Can being positive actually result in feeling positive? If you Google that question, you'll find people who say, a positive attitude = a happier life and those who argue the point. I figured the Mayo Clinic was a relatively unbiased source so went to it via my search engine. Here's what they report:

"Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

• Increased life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Lower levels of distress
• Greater resistance to the common cold
• Better psychological and physical well-being
• Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
• Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

It's unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. One theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body. It's also thought that positive and optimistic people tend to live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and don't smoke or drink alcohol in excess." For more click here:   http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/positive-thinking/SR00009

So maybe Pollyanna was on to something with her "Glad Game." She explains it below (sorry about the marginal audio):

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If it works in the movies, it can work in real life, right? You bet. Over the next two weeks we'll focus on true stories about how a positive attitude made all the difference, even saved lives.

Kick Back Book of the Week:

Let's go with Pollyanna by Eleanore H. Porter. It's a classic that if you haven't read, you'll be glad you finally did. If you've read it before, read it again. It'll be a good reminder of how to play The Glad Game.

Kick Back Song of the Week:

Ordinary Miracle sung by Sarah McLachlan from the movie, Charlotte's Web. This simple song is about the "glad" that surrounds us everyday. 

A Little Something Extra:

Watch how Laverne and Shirley play the glad game without even knowing it.  

   

      

Happy Holidays!

No matter how or if you celebrate during this holiday weekend, I wish you the best. I'm taking a few moments to enjoy friends, family and a blessed year. Thanks to all you pingers who have dropped by to visit my pinpoint on the blogosphere. I'll be back on Tuesday.

 Don't forget to look for those spaces in your day where a bit of fun can be found. It'll make all the difference.

http://www.americangreetings.com/ecards/view.pd?i=551879138&m=9159&source=ag992

Light a candle for an Immediate Kick Back

Candles light up a birthday cake, illuminate a dark room, add romance to a dinner table and are used as a sign of remembrance and celebration in different religions around the world.

Lighting the Hanukkah Menorah is a ritual that has been observed since the destruction of the Temple in 332 BCE when the Jews refused to acknowledge the deification of Alexander the Great of Macedonia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_in_Jerusalem). The menorah symbolizes the ideal of universal enlightenment. The branches allude to human knowledge and the central lamp represents the light of God..



The ring or wheel of the Advent wreath of evergreens decorated with candles was a symbol in northern Europe long before the arrival of Christianity. The circle symbolized the eternal cycle of the seasons while the evergreens and lighted candles signified the persistence of life in the midst of winter. Christians now light one candle on the wreath each Sunday as a part of the Advent services. Each candle represents an aspect of the spiritual preparation for the coming of Jesus Christ.

The way religions around the world use candles warrants a blog of their own and I'm guessing there are hundreds.



What is it about a formation of wax with a flickering flame that makes humans feel at peace and gives them hope?

Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Melinda Smith, M.A., and Lawrence Robinson (http://www.helpguide.com/) tell us that, "The speediest way to stamp out stress is by engaging one or more of your senses."

Think about the senses a candle ignites...a kaleidoscopic light in the dark, an aromatic scent, soft warmth and a whisper of sound as the flame dances.

The only way you can feel the calming effect of a candle is by lighting one and staring at it for a few minutes. There is no way you can experience the full sensuality of a candle over the Internet. Your eyes may water a touch when you first gaze at the flame. You may even see double, but as your focus settles in you will escape to a faraway place.

In honor of the candle, I'll share an award winning film, Lightheaded by Michael Dacko, which focuses on the journey of a flame. The animation is incredible. Click on the first link:
<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/10470386?title=0&amp;byline=0&amp;portrait=0" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/10470386%22%3ELightheaded%3C/a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/mikedacko%22%3EMike Dacko</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com%22%3evimeo%3c/a%3E.%3C/p>

A Little Something Extra:

"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." 

~Chinese Proverb~



Instant Peace

...so what is peace?  

"Peace is a state of harmony, the absence of hostility," according to Wikipedia. "To be at peace with one's self would indicate a sense of serenity, calm, and equilibrium."

People that experience inner peace say that the feeling is not dependent on time, people, place, or any external object or situation. It's keeping oneself strong in the face of discord or tension. It is the opposite of being stressed or anxious. Sounds good, but how do we get it?

Way to complex for this blog, but here's a link to the Peace Pilgrim that should help launch your journey: http://www.peacepilgrim.com/steps1.htm#4prep

What I'll give you are some moments that evoke a peaceful feeling, at least for me. It's not scientific, but I have felt a warm sensation in my core, which I interpret as peace, when I have experienced the following:  

1. Giving - It can range from making a donation after a natural disaster, volunteering, and saying, "yes"  to the cashier at the grocery store when asked to donate a dollar to the charity of the month. It can be quite spontaneous too. This morning, while at the gym, I waited in line to get an exercise mat for class. The first woman lifted one out of the bin and instead of taking it to her spot on the floor, she started passing them out. Everyone smiled. This act of easy and unexpected giving generated that peaceful feeling.
2. Breathing - Taking slow deep breaths and focusing on them almost instantly soothes sorrow or anxiety that you may be feeling. Formally, it's called meditation and it really does work. 
3. Self Commitment - When I set a goal and accomplish it, I feel satisfied, at peace. It can be as simple as promising myself to make the bed in the morning, doing abdominal crunches before my shower or drinking eight glasses of water throughout the day. The bottom line is I valued myself enough to keep my word and it feels pretty good.  
4. Creativity - Doing something you love. For me it's writing. When I write, especially fiction, the world around me seems to disappear along with problems. We all have a creative side that, when accessed, helps us escape to a peaceful place, whether it's making an awesome play list on an I-Pod, snapping photos or sketching a pretty scene.
5. Smiling - Smiling is the true peace sign. If you give it away, you'll almost always get one in return too.
6. A Candle - There's something about lighting a candle then gazing at the flame that ignites peace -- an instant calm. I'm not sue why, but we'll explore that in my next blog post.

These are a few things that have given me a glimpse of what peace feels like. Please share ways that foster a sense of peace for you.

A Little Something Extra: 

Here's a short story about a mean school photographer who tries to get 4-year-olds to frown instead of smile for their class picture. The last little girl just won't give in. Does the magic of a smile work? You'll see. Click the link below:

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/30133754?title=0&amp;byline=0&amp;portrait=0" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="/30133754">School Portrait (2011)</a> from <a href="/picopictures">Michael Berliner</a> on <a href="/">Vimeo</a>.</p>

Tis the Season to be Peaceful

The holiday season can be a wondrous menagerie of parties, gifts, culinary delicacies and glittering decorations. On the other hand, it can be a reminder of loss, loneliness, illness and financial woes. Aren't I a downer? Possibly, but it's true.

It can be annoying when people go around telling you to be merry and happy just because it's December when all you want to do is go into hibernation with the bears. I can recall a Christmas when my life was in the dumpster and the seasonal pressure to be joyful made things so much worse. What did I do? I stepped back from the holiday hoopala and gave myself the gift of peaceful reflection. I made time to meditate, took long walks, read books and cried. I spent less money and made up excuses not to attend parties. What was the result? A cleansing calm feeling and a sense of control in my life.

I'm pretty indifferent about Brad Pitt, but I really did like something he said this year, which is, "I think happiness is overrated, truthfully. I do. I think sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're not. There's too much pressure to be happy. I don't know. I know I will be at times and I know I won't be at times. Satisfied, at peace, those would be more goals for myself."

On my difficult Christmas (and I'm pretty sure, if we live long enough, we'll all have one) I wasn't happy, but I was at peace. I let myself grieve. Although sad, I felt satisfied -- and from there I was able to move forward. Along those same lines, Scott Peck starts The Road Less Traveled (which spent 694 weeks on the NY Times Bestseller List) with, "Life is hard. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.  Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."

It's sort of like, life is hard. I know it and I'm going to deal with it. When the hard comes along I'll accept it and that is where peace comes from. So if you're feeling lonely or depressed or lost this December, know you're not alone. It's all part of living on the planet Earth. No one can escape it. It's okay to step back from the merriment. Kick back, embrace your melancholy and know that a better day is on the way. 

Remember holiday celebrations are not prescribed. If you're into it, go for the festivity -- I know I am this year. But if you're not, shrug your shoulders and tell yourself  it's okay because it really is.

This week we'll look at ways to bring peace into the holiday season whether we're feeling happy or sad.

Kick Back Song of the Week:

Here Comes the Sun by the George Harrison. The earth's star may not always be visible, but it is always there. We can count on that even when it's hidden behind a cloud.   

Kick Back Book of the Week:

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Frankl was a psychiatrist and a Jew who was imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany. His parents, brother and wife died in the camps or were sent to the gas ovens. Although he suffered extreme torture, he discovered what he refers to as, "the last of human freedoms." He could decide within himself how all of what was happening was going to affect him. He chose to keep his basic identity intact. Although I don't imagine he was happy, he found peace. 

No one can say it better than Viktor Frankl himself. Here he is speaking about how to overcome suffering in 2009.  

A Little Something Extra: