Wise Words From My Sons

Whoever said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me," was wrong. Words are powerful. They can hurt, but they can also heal. This Mother's Day I'd like to recognize word gifts that my sons, Max, 23 and Greg, 21, gave me. Words that I often think about. Words that help me make decisions. Words that relieve difficult times.

When Greg was 8 or 9 years old, I was going through a turbulent period with career, finances, personal problems—the works. I tried to hide the stress I felt from my sons, but kids aren't stupid. They can detect emotional discord. At one point, Greg asked me, "What's wrong, Mom?" I explained my frustrations to him sensitively, in terms I hoped he would understand—told him that many of my hopes and dreams weren't coming true, and that I was feeling very disappointed. His reply to me was, "Maybe you're just supposed be doing something different."

It stopped me cold. Lightning had struck. "Something different!" Maybe what I wished for wasn't meant to be. Maybe it was "Something different." Maybe I was right where I was supposed to be—discovering how to live independently, growing in a job, learning how to manage money, solving problems. Sure, life was hard  but the challenges were making me stronger; enhancing my character. Since the day Greg gave me that advice, I view periods of discontent differently. I view them with acceptance, patience and wonder. After all, it's during those thorny times that we often discover a beautiful rose.

Now for Max. He started driving to high school when he was a senior. Not wanting to deal with the traffic in the student lot, he parked in a small dirt space nearby. One day when he arrived, Max saw a group of guys roughing up a meek young man. Appalled, Max stepped out of his car, and demanded that the bullies leave the kid alone. After some verbal banter, the guys took off and Max walked to school with the relieved victim. When he came home that day, Max told me about the incident. The humanitarian in me admired my son's altruistic behavior. The mother in me imagined the worst case scenario—visiting my son badly beaten in the hospital. I told him that I highly regarded his actions, then added, "Just be careful. You could have gotten really hurt." Max replied, "It would've hurt more to walk away."

My heart swelled with pride. It was one of my finest moments as a parent and, oh, the times I've pulled those words out of my life toolbox. For example, I work for a high needs school district, and occasionally become frustrated as I try to help disadvantaged students achieve with limited resources and rigorous academic demands. Sometimes I just want to quit. Why don't I?

"It would hurt more to walk away than it would to stay."

I write novels, along with tens of thousands of others. Traditional publishers only accept about 200 titles from new authors each year, so the chance of seeing my work in book form is slim (unless I self-publish). I pour myself into my writing with little recognition. Some days I want to quit, but it feels so wrong. Why?

"It would hurt more to walk away than it would to stay."

When we become intimately close with people, they bring us joy and pain. Inevitably, we go through periods when the pain outweighs the joy, and we feel like giving up on that relationship. Why don't we?

"It would hurt more to walk away than it would to stay."

Of course, there are occasions when it hurts more to stay than it does to walk away. That's when things get really tough.

So during this Mother's Day week, I would like to thank my sons for the gift of those beautiful words. They have served me well. You two are the best!!! 

This week, I'd love it if you'd share a favorite quote, or story, that helps you along life's journey. Maybe we can acquire a collection of wise words and I'll post them soon.

KICK BACK BOOK OF THE WEEK

And the Whippoorwill Sang by Micki Peluso. A memoir that will warm your heart, then break it, then help it to heal. This story grabbed from the beginning, and will never let me go. Do yourself a favor and read it. Here are the first few lines from Amazon's description:

"Happy times, a sunny day, a driving drunk, eight lives forever changed. A mother's account of actual events of her family, filled with laughter, love, loss, and survival. It is a day like any other, except the intense heat wave has broken and signs of early fall are in the air. Around the dining room table of her 100 year old farmhouse, Micki Peluso's six children, along with three of their friends, eagerly gulp down a chicken dinner. As soon as the last morsel is ravished, the lot of them is off in different directions. Except for the one whose turn it is to do the dishes. After offering her mother a buck if she'll do them, with an impish grin, the child rushes out the front door, too excited for a hug, calling out, "Bye Mom," as the door slams shut. For the Peluso's the nightmare begins.

KICK BACK SONG OF THE WEEK:


My Wish sung by Rascal Flatts. The lyrics express "My wish," for my sons this Mother's Day, and always.

  

A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA:

Happy Mother's Day!

http://www.americangreetings.com/ecards/view.pd?i=566558931&m=9159&source=ag992